Yes Boss

You can hide, you can run but you cannot escape. Wherever you are, you will have one….Boss.

You will have to report to someone, unless it is your own company or you have your own shop (doctors, lawyers, etc included in this).

When I was pursuing my Masters in Business Administration, (oh, by the way its MBA but I prefer writing it like this as it sounds something big and cool), we were told about different types of leaders and qualities of a good leader. I wonder why it was included. They could have reduced the syllabus by not including this. Anyways!

Generally, a leader or a boss is categorized based on the leadership style he uses. However, I like to talk about the traits rather than the style in categorizing bosses, because traits define the way you behave or rather misbehave.

Before I start mentioning them, let me have a disclaimer:

“All the characters are fictitious and do not bear any resemblance to anything living or dead, even though one couldn’t resist resembling it to someone. All the resemblance, if any, is just plain coincidental. This is just a piece of fiction and written under inebriated condition. And yes boss, I will be coming to work tomorrow.”

Ok, so let’s get started (Oh have I not yet started!)

There are many categories but I restrict myself to an interesting few;

Oblivion of your presence Boss

This Boss will totally forget that you exist. He is more like a distance relationship. In a meeting with customer he will also shake hands with you and give you his visiting card. You will find him looking straight through you to the extent that you would pinch yourself to check if you are dead or alive.

Confused Boss

He himself doesn’t know the right approach or right solutionand will go all over the place. He is confused, will make you confused and the organisation is confused about why they are having you both and at the end out of all these confusion everybody is convinced…ufff

Highway Boss

This is the ‘my way or the high way’ category.

With this kind of a boss you have no opinion and no options. You just follow his instructions. You go wrong and it’s entirely your fault and if you succeed then it is of course ‘under his guidance’.

 Self Esteem killer Boss

This is more dangerous than the Hydrophis Belcheri (no it is not any south indian guy’s name…it is the most venomous snake in the world). He will take you to task regularly and will tell you how inefficient you are and things like that and will make you feel that you are even incapable of breathing properly.

Merry Go Round Boss

This type of boss is my favourite. He is a smooth talker (and in mumbaiyya language…bolbacchan). He will super commit everybody in the organisation and will sit on the activity and at the eleventh hour will delegate the work to you. You will somehow manage the activity and go to him for feedback and here you release that doing the work was easier than getting his feedback and approval. He will first make you stand in his cabin for few minutes (ranging from 15 to 60 mins). He will be busy doing something, taking calls and you will fancy yourself staring at the walls, on the birds outside, the flies or bees in his cabin and other people coming in and out of his cabin. Finally your time will come. He will ask you to get the print-outs of all the documents that you either have on your laptop or have already forwarded to him. He will than look at the format, grammar, page set-up, etc everything but the content. You go to him for solutions to a problem you are facing and he will make the problem more difficult for you.

But he is good in way because he makes you an autonomous entity. Slowly you learn to bypass him and will go to him only if there is no other option. But yes, in some case you will need his approval and this is your waterloo or should I say ‘no water in the loo - after you have finished your act’.

DakiyaDakLaya Boss (Postman Boss)

This type is just the messenger or the mouthpiece, not even the amplifier. He just takes instructions from his boss and repeats it to his subordinates. In fact, if his boss has sneezed at the end of the conversation with him he will also sneeze at the end of his conversation with you. He plays the part so well that you sometimes feel that he would come to you one morning and tell that you have a money order from your uncle or handover some subscribed magazine issue to you saying that the postal department has sought his services.

If you guys know about any other category do let me know.